Log in

Lew Ellyn
28 June 2009 @ 08:31 am
Do you know what the most terrible thing is? That you have to leave the kids that you watch. I didn't realize how much I missed my kids.from my last job until I went over there to give the mother and father a date night. I guess it's natural that I would have gotten quite close to them since I was working eight hours a day, five days a week for three months with them. The autistic boy greeted me by dumping his food all over the floor and then bumping his head against my arm for the next hour. The little girl rattled off the latest  gossip about the neighbor woman who had tried to kill herself and now was living away from her husband with her two kids who she and her brother had been friends with.

It was a really good dat which just made it all the more painful. We went to the park and ended up picking up one of her friends who was going to stay the night. They didn't seem to get along very well, but it was like that at that age. We stayed at her house for awhile playing with the hose and a few of the younger neighborhood children wandered over. They were fascinated by Dillan. They must have asked me a million questions about him. "Is he nice?" "Can he go on the swings?" "Does he talk?" In the end, the little boys ran around trying to get him to spray them and the little girl followed him around the entire time we were there. So I must have fielded the questions fairly well.

The only problem came that evening when I found out he was on a new medication and the parents hadn't told me how to give it to him. He was getting crabby as he got overtired so I just let him sit on my lap and watch TV, trying to keep him calm. Gave him his bottle, too, which they're trying to wean him off but give to him for comfort sometimes. Apparently the parents thought they'd be home in time to give it to him.

I really wish that job could have been long-term. *sighs* But it's so much better for the kids for their mom to be home.
Tags: ,
Current Mood: sadsad
Lew Ellyn
27 June 2009 @ 03:28 pm

Oh, my God! I got a bill in the mail today for eight-hundred some odd dollars. When I was in my car accident back in March, they put me in an ambulance and took me to get checked out due to the sheer speeds we were travelling at when we collided. Apparently that ambulence ride - shared with another person! - costs eight-hundred dollars and my insurance doesn't cover it. I don't have eight-hundred dollars. We've had eight-hundred dollars to spare twice as long as I remember. And right now we're scrimping something awful due to my car payments. Cutting every little corner we can so I can go to school. And they want their money on the thirtieth? Um, let's see, I don't think that will be happening. Maybe if you'd sent the bill more than four days before the due date I could have saved for it. And why the hell did you assholes take me to Ann Arbor? Well, seeing the bill, I understand now. Fifteen dollars per mile. I cannot get a hold on my finances. This is really going to mess us up big time.


Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Lew Ellyn
27 June 2009 @ 07:03 am

It's probably not actually my attempt to change attitude, but work was much better on Friday. Albeit twelve hours is still an extremely long time and there were moments when I couldn't figure out what to do. He was so cute, though, I was playing this game where I would sit him up and lay him back down and then he started kind of bobbing his head like he was trying to sit up by himself. And because the day went so very wel, I was feeling a little more competent when the father got home and I think I made a good impression on him. The grandfather will be out of town for the next couple weeks, which is nice, because while he seemed like a perfectly nice old man, I felt like I was being spied on. My mother helpfully informed me that I probably was being spied on my first day.

If the heat holds up, I might fill his wading pool on Monday in the morning and let the sun warm the water so that we can go swimming in the afternoon.

I just found out that I'll be working when they hold the fireworks in my town! By time I get out, they'll be completely over! How awful! I've went every year since I was a little girl. It's the end of an era. 
Current Mood: contentcontent
Lew Ellyn
25 June 2009 @ 11:21 pm

I went to give blood today. I did it for the first time last November and wanted to make it a regular thing but then my car broke down. It was packed! I didn't bother to make an appointment because the last time I went there it was next to empty. So I ended up in the dreaded walk-in section of the waiting room; they tried to fit one of us in every forty-five minutes or so.  Finally it was my turn and it almost looked like I wouldn't be able to donate because my hemoglobin levels were really low. But they waited fifteen minutes and retested on another finger and the levels were acceptable so we continued. Second donation complete! I'm having a worse reaction to it this time, though, feeling a little dizzy and my arm bruised pretty badly.

I have to go into work tomorrow at 6:45 which means I should be in bed, but alas I'm not quite tired enough to do so yet. I've been dreading it, though Faythe more or less chastised me for my negativity and I guess I should apply a more positive attitude to the situation. So I'm telling myself that I'll go in there tomorrow, it won't be awkward at all, and the baby will already be getting used to having me there once in awhile instead of his mother. Hey, maybe the baby will even sense this change in attitude. Plus, if I act confident, I might start to feel confident and that never hurt anyone's work!

I also got a call from my previous job - watching a five-year-old autistic boy and his ten-year-old sister - asking if I could possibly come in Saturday night. I said yes; I could use the extra money and I miss the kids already.  brand0new0day introduced me to Harry Potter the Musical this evening as well. Delightfully dumb and honest spoof. It'd be a fun little show to attend in person because of the nature of the actors.

Also got my hair cut into a bob. Couldn't stand it on my skin anymore in this heat. I actually like it a lot!

Okay, need to go wash clothes for tomorrow.
Lew Ellyn
25 June 2009 @ 11:19 pm

Michael Jackson died? Can he do that? He's . . . Michael Jackson!
Current Mood: shockedshocked
Lew Ellyn
25 June 2009 @ 07:41 am
To be the only one putting any energy into a friendship. But then what happens if you just don't do anything either? My control freak nature doesn't allow me to let go.
Current Mood: pensivepensive
Lew Ellyn
24 June 2009 @ 11:14 pm

I have such a busy day tomorrow!

I have to go the the car dealership and let them install a new antenna since someone stole it when it was parked on their lot. (*rolls eyes*) They should have my permanent plate by tomorrow, too. Then I need to go to the insurance company and let them take pictures of the car to assess any pre-existing damage that they can use against us in the case of a claim. I need to go to the library and finish my word processing work as well as my demonstrative speech on rooting plants. And then there was a blood drive around here that I wanted to pop into, though it's a fifty-fifty chance whether or not they'll be able to find a vein.

That's all in the morning, though the evening is considerably more relaxed. I need to go to the store and find a bathing suit that isn't four years old, chlorine-stained, and ill-fitted. A department store should be able to fulfill at least two of those requirements. Then I was going to head down to Luna-Pier which is in Ohio, just south of the Michigan border and maybe go for a swim; at least walk around a bit. It's really pretty there and I need to get outside. By then it should be time to go to bed because I have to get up at six on Friday to go to work for a twelve hour shift. But then I get paid. Goody! And in theory I should have more autonomy on Friday and I'm certain the baby will be a little more used to me.

Oh, well, it's good to stay busy.

Tags: , ,
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: just another day in paradise - phil vassar
Lew Ellyn
24 June 2009 @ 10:52 pm

I was so desperate for relief from the heat today - our air conditioners are unreliable at best due to their ten plus years of service - that I went over my grandmother's by myself. Just for those of your who aren't on close terms with me in real life, she is the most intolerant, bordering on ignorant woman I have ever met. So, with my eyes set on the pool, I headed over there.

Immediately, she questions me about whether or not I got the messages from my father. Yes, of course I did, I was the one who clicked the button to make him go to voicemail. "You just didn't care then." And I sigh, not wishing to get into this now, and ask, "Well, this is getting a bit ridiculous, isn't it? He can't expect a big send-off every time he leaves." And she replies, "No, but it would have been nice this time. He won't be coming back here to my house. I can't deal with it again."

She's in full-on sympathy mode now despite her chastising my own lack of affection for the man. I eye the pool and reply, "I know the two of your were fighting a lot." She holds up a finger, "No. We did not fight. Everyone keeps putting it that way. He attacked me. He would just start screaming if I said anything wrong and I sat there quivering on the couch."

"You shouldn't have to deal with that in your own house," I reply, honestly, though I know she must be a hard person to live with. Only half-kidding, I say, "You shouldn't tell him where you move next year." To which I find out that he doesn't know where either of his brothers live because the entire family refuses to tell him. Not that I blame them; they have young children who don't need to be exposed to him when he gets going. I wish my mother had the same sense.

Anyway, she agreed with me that she shouldn't, and asked if I could search the internet for an appropriate apartment for her. I said okay and I plan to do that tomorrow. The swim was completely worth the inital 'greeting.' The water felt wonderful and I'm considerably more relaxed now than I was earlier. The pool was a disaster area - a splash-fest with people jumping literally off the roof of the office into five feet of water - but even that didn't ruin it. My grandmother muttering just a little too loud about the new people they were letting in here almost did. By which, for the record, she means people who aren't white and upper-middle class. 

*shakes head* 

That side of my family makes me sad. I don't mean that sarcastically, either. I do feel sorry for them sometimes.  
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
Current Music: awful, beautiful life - daryl worley
Lew Ellyn
23 June 2009 @ 09:19 pm
This made me smile. Partially because of the way that it is phrased and partially because, yes, this is why I resisted many of my interests my first year of college that would have led directly into academia.

In Mr. Hakimi's opinion, European history was not the best choice of fields. "You propose to do what with this? To teach," he said. "You will become a professor, teaching students who'll become professors in turn and teach other students who will become professors also. It reminds me of those insects who live only a few days , only for the purpose of reproducing their species."
Tags: ,
Current Mood: amusedamused
Lew Ellyn
23 June 2009 @ 06:04 pm

I swear it! I was all excited about starting this new job and now I'm questioning my judgement in ever having taken it! It's not really even the crankiness of the kid; I can deal with that. He's either teething or adjusting to having a caregiver who he doesn't know and he was already showing signs of improvement toward the end of the day. But the father!

I get the feeling that he resents having a paid sitter which makes me really uncomfortable. Today I overheard a conversation he was having with his father who was working in his home office today. The grandfather said, in response to something the dad said, "No. She's up running around." And then a bit later, "Oh, no. She was playing a game with him earlier of some sort." Does he think that all sitters don't actually do any work? Or am I special?

If you do childcare correctly, it's a difficult job; particularly with babies who you want to give enough social interaction and also need to constantly meet their needs. I was very insulted by what I heard and it makes me very uncomfortable.

I need the job, though, and I think I'll be okay once I get used to the household and hit my stride. *sighs* Hope that's soon.

Current Mood: crankycranky